Posted by: terrapraeta | March 9, 2010

Feel The Way I Do


Meet me in outerspace
We could spend the night, watch the earth come up
I’ve grown tired of that place, wont you come with me
We could start again
How do you do it, make me feel like I do
How do you do it, it’s better than I ever knew
Meet me in outerspace
I will hold you close, If you’re afraid of heights
I need you to see this place, It might be the only way
That I can show you how, it feels to be inside of you
How do you it, make me feel like I do
How do you do it, its better than I ever knew
How do you do it, make me feel like I do

Incubus, Stellar

Last Friday I opened my posting saying that my head was all outta wack. I was… distracted and scattered and I had the sense that it was something external rather than internal. Sunday I got a request to talk about that a little more. Of course I’m always willing to field a question – its so much easier than just coming up with topics on my own! :-)

Different people have very differing opinions about psychic phenomena. Myself, I am skeptical, but not dismissive. I know, from personal experience that we are capable of more than the scientific community general accepts, I am, after all, an animist. But on the flip, the only “professional” psychic I have ever encountered was a fraud. Plain and simple. She put on a carnival show. As entertainment, that is all well and good, but I’m not terribly interested, for myself.

In any case, I learned a long time ago that I am an empath. I’m not saying simply that I am a good listener and can imagine others feelings. Rather, for those that I am very close to (and on occasion others), I actually feel what they are feeling. I wrote about this many years ago – my teenage experiences that led me to understand this about myself – in Can I feel You Up? I think most people have some bit of this in themselves. When I was younger, I would occasionally call my folks and say “what’s going on? Something doesn’t feel right.” And instead of scoffing, their response was usually everything is fine here, but we know what you mean. Basic intuition that something is not right.

For me, it is usually a little more intense than basic intuition, however. Most often I pick up on negative emotions: grief, despair, anxiety. The big three. Its a mixed bag because at first I just feel it. Then I become aware of it. Then I realize that it is coming from elsewhere. Before I consciously recognize that otherness it can be pretty intense and disconcerting. Once I realize, however, that it’s not me, two things happen. First it becomes less in a way because I know that it is other, while second it becomes more because I worry about the people I love and what is going on in their lives that is making me feel the way I do. Only sometimes can I determine the source. Or at least make a good guess. Occasionally, I later find out exactly who and why and wherefore. When I do its always a relief, even if the cause is of further concern.

Sometimes – and these times are fabulous – I pick up on joy. Or maybe I do it more often than I realize, but being a generally happy person, I don’t recognize that it is external. A few times, however, I have found myself amazingly happy for no discernible reason. Most of the time I do find out the reasons behind it eventually – people are much more inclined to share their joys than their sorrows. So I get the double whammy – first the joy that I feel, inside and then later, the joy I feel for my loved ones when they tell me the cause. Its a beautiful thing.

This summer, if not before, I intend to spend a lot of time and energy developing attention. Not to other people so much – I’m already pretty good at that and always working on it – but to wild nature itself. Building that animist connection that I have only occasionally succeeded at before. I suspect that once I really begin to pay attention that my inherent sensitivity to feeling will be a tremendous asset. I would like to think so, but perhaps it is different. Feeling is esay compared to attending. I’ll keep you posted as I explore this further.

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Responses

  1. First of all, I appreciate your responsiveness to my question!

    It’s taken a while to know how to comment, as I’m so unused to talking about these things. I’ve been pondering whether I have a similar experience but talk about it differently, or a completely different but related, almost complementary experience – even more so after another similar-and-completely-different conversation I had yesterday.

    You see, I’m tuned into different aspects of the world to most others around me. Perhaps this is really true of all of us, and perhaps all these different “tunings” somehow play into each other so that overall the world is one big learning/potentially-evolving organism.

    Put a different way, my attention seems to be structured differently to others.
    Are you aware of Otto Scharmer’s work on “Theory U” methodology for “leading from the future as it emerges”/”presencing”? He writes of how the “social field” evolves (or doesn’t), and the role of paying attention to the structure of attention in this evolution. Scharmer’s work seems very well founded, and fits with my own experience.

    I’m pretty clear how urgent it is to be having conversations about this stuff at this critical time for the world, regardless of what jargon or theory we approach it with. So thanks again for your post.

    John


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