Yesterday, I wrote about The Quickening and my need for external validation.
Perhaps I spoke too soon.
Last night, my honey and I went to a see a local band play. When we were getting ready to leave, he pointed out a couple and asked me to ‘make a note’ of them, remember them because he had something to tell me.
When we finally separated from the crowd, got in the car and started home, he began his story. Early in the show, the girl came and stood very closely in front of him. So closely, that as I danced I noticed her body language as a little… more intimate than I would generally expect. Turns out, it was quite a bit more intimate than even I realized. She stood very close, occasionally brushing her ass against my boy, then casually moving away a bit after a few moments. Rinse Repeat. This went on for some time without him overtly responding in any way.
A bit later in the evening, stage II: missy’s boyfriend stepped up immediately behind my sig and gave him a full body press. Without thinking, my boy stepped aside to let him pass. BF took the opportunity and moved up on missy and began snuggling with her. But then he, just like she had previously, began pressing back against my boy from the front.
Color me intrigued: the first thought I had, of course, was to wonder if they recognized us as a couple and were pursuing that sort of arrangement, or if they were hitting on my boy as a loner. (I admit I hope it was the former. They were both rather hot, even though she was shorter than I would generally like). So we discussed this for quite a while as we drove — talking about possibly ways to interpret the sequence as non-sexual – and mostly dismissing them.
We talked about the fact that we had friends with us at the club: friends that we would not want to share our sexuality with (or at least have never had any reason to suspect that they would be open to such). So there was a certain discomfort with the situation from that perspective. We talked about why they chose us: and guessed that perhaps our recent sexual explorations have triggered some sub-conscious vibes in either or both of us. We explored it rather fully, or so I thought. But then he tells me, as the conversation is winding down, that it was ‘bad timing.’ I say sure, except for the fact that he apparently was bisexual, and you have been unwilling to go any there.
He says, ‘you were not supposed to follow up on that.’
Really??? I let it drop.
Later, lying in bed, he tells me that there is something he wants to tell me: something he probably wouldn’t tell me if he weren’t drunk. Maybe wouldn’t even think about if he weren’t drunk.
It was bad timing for three reasons: 1. We have discussed incremental steps to expand our current sexuality. But we have not yet acted on any of those: so this would be a big jump. 2. Our friends were there and that was uncomfortable. And 3. Although he was extremely horny, if he had been just a little bit more so that could’ve made all the difference.
We have talked more on the subject since. Why he was reticent to share this with me. How he feels about further details. How hot it makes me when he is more sexually open. And so forth. I don’t know where this may take us in the future, but yesterday I was mostly convinced that, talk all we want, monogamy would remain the rule for us.
If that is not to be the case, the validation I was looking for yesterday, may be right where I least expected it. And that is a good thing.
(Originally posted August 10, 2006)