Something has to change.
Boredom’s not a burden
Anyone should bear.
Constant over stimulation numbs me
and I wouldn’t have
It any other way.
It’s not enough.
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I don’t want it.
I just need it.
To feel, to breathe, to know I’m alive.
Driving down the road yesterday afternoon, I saw a hand painted sign propped up in the middle of a hayfield that read ‘Outlaw Sodomy’. Why would a person feel so strongly about what other people are doing in their own homes, that they would pain a sign and haul it across the back forty to post it along a roadside?
I suppose there are a couple of possibilities. A fundamentalist Chrisitan might believe that they are literally saving themselves from god’s wrath by making this effort. As if painting a sign puts them in the same company as Lot, righteously defending his guests from the men of Sodom. Of course, I suspect the anonymous painter would be better served to consider Luke 41- 42
My cynical side, however, tends to think that this is another example of someone who, perhaps, finds his mind drawn to homosexual fantasy and believes that making it illegal will ‘cure’ him of his ‘flaw’. Because, of course, no one ever breaks the law.
I also wonder what this painter-of-signs thinks of women that participate in anal sex. Should that be illegal, also? Or is this strictly a condemnation of male homosexuality? Again, I suspect, that the mere question would bring on fits of apoplexy. Because no god fearing women even likes sex, much less takes part in activities that have no purpose beyond carnal pleasure.
Which brings me to another idea that I have been pondering. I have been wondering what it is, in our culture, that makes male homosexual behavior so much more stigmatized than female homosexual behavior. A woman is free to experiment with her sexuality, whether seriously or in play, and yet retain her identity as a heterosexual. For a man, however, if he crosses the line just once – and is found out – he will be forever considered homosexual.
Why is that? And has it always been that way?
I almost think that the answer may be in the earlier comment about women ‘not liking sex.’ For much of our history it has been assumed that women engage in sexual behavior as a ‘duty’ and as a way to have children. Once one believes this, then cultural prohibitions against female homosexuality become irrelevant. Unnecessary.
Of course, in the current day and age, female homosexuality has gained greater prominence and men have oftentimes, embraced that: the idea of engaging sexually with multiple women being a common fantasy. To the degree that now some men would be quite satisfied merely to observe the interaction between women, knowing that the ‘ultimate’ fantasy would be to be invited to join.
At the same time, there is still little acceptance of the reverse. How many women fantasize about observing two men together? Those that do, how many would be willing to admit it to even their closest friends? And is this tied back in with the cultural prohibitions against homosexuality, or is there more to it?
I don’t have any real answers, at least not yet. But I continue to ponder.
(Originally posted August 17, 2006)