In my dreams, I can see us in a tight embrace
Doin all the things that we never really did
I think I’m in love with you Must we go run through our lives with our eyes closed
To the loving happiness that we can share
I think I’m in love with you and your friend
Honest I do, I can’t see you and me and her without each other
And I hope you feel the same way too (you and me and her)
Snake River Conspiracy, You and Your Friend
For a time, one of my oldest friends participated in a three way marriage. She and her husband had been together for almost a decade, and then met a girl they both liked. Next thing you know, they got a legal divorce, so that the three of them could be equal in their relationship.
I think that is where it all started for me. Before that, you were either gay or straight. You were either a ‘player’ or not. ‘Exaggerated’ sexuality only really existed in the movies. After all, I thought of myself as fairly liberal in my attitudes toward sex, and amongst my friends I never thought of myself as exceptional (I’ve had reason, since, to reconsider that but that is a different story.) Before then, we had sometimes watched pornos, sometimes gone to strip clubs, sometimes ‘played around’ with the idea of expanding our relationship. But it was all purely talk. I had never considered it as anything more than a game. But in the moment when I was told about the new wife, I had to radically reorganize my thinking. Either it was okay and there was a whole range of ideas for me to explore, or it was not.
Being who I am, it could only have ended up okay. I began to consider possibilities that had been too scary previously. First it was another girl? I kinda liked that thought, and when we talked about it, my boy did, too. This, of course, led to more strip clubs, more participation on my part, a real close call that could’ve been great fun if only we were not vacationing with his entire family.
But once the mental discomfort began to subside, there was no stopping my wandering thoughts. Another man. Yeah, okay, I could dig that. My honey, not so much, but perhaps in the right situation. Another couple? Yeah, I already know I like that. (and wish that, at the time, I had been ready to explore the full potential of the occasion. But whatever.) How ’bout another man or couple, with a bi-sexual guy? That kinda rocks me. My baby doll, well, that’s a rough one for him, to say the least.(Or at least I thought so)
Over the years we’ve spent a lot more time at strip clubs, exploring the fantasy if not the reality. Most of those excursions have involved a lot of alcohol. Some have involved other friends, leaving us guarding our behavior â€“ at least a little. One night involved a whole lot of strippers pulling up my shirt and playing with my breasts, all topped off with crazy hotel sex while our buddy ‘slept’ in the next bed. Nothing was ever said, but I do wonder how much of that he watched. 🙂 But now we are talking a little more seriously. Considering, maybe, actually acting on some of these ideas. So the first item on our list is a trip to the strip club, sans alcohol. I’m anxious to see how that works out.
(Originally posted August 21, 2006)