How does it feel to treat me like you do?
When you’ve your hands upon me
And told me who you are I thought I was mistaken
I thought I heard your words
Tell me, how do I feel Tell me now, How do I feel
New Order, Blue Monday
Last week I wrote about a couple of troubling friendships. I suppose it is time for an update.
First was the dream, the man that inspired it, and my thoughts on what it meant. I feared that my understanding of my old friend was perhaps, mistaken and he was more shallow than I recognized or admitted. Well, I am pleased to say that I have since heard from him. Turns out it was just as I suspected. Since I heard from him last, he has found a new and better place to live and gotten settled. So he sent out an email saying hey, here I am, hope things are good, gimme a call sometime. I’m sure I will eventually, but the stress I was feeling is now gone.
Next, I talked about my ‘sister’ and her marital problems that have spilled over into our relationship. I have to say, after I received the email from buddy-boy, part of me expected, even assumed, that I would hear from her as well. In the positive of course. I realized this, and mentioned it to my honey last Friday as we were going out. And pointed out (to myself, primarily) that it was way too son for that, but that I always subconsciously expect these things to go in cycles.
There was the cycle going into last week of my oldest and dearest relationships ‘suddenly’ falling apart and becoming ‘other’, so this week should have been a cycle of ‘realizing it was just a momentary blip’. Unfortunately, its now a week since I got the email and still no word from sister-mine.
I suppose that does make some kind of sense. After all, the first ‘crisis’ was, quite literally, ‘all in my head’. Whereas the second is eminently real. And of course, that means I have to worry about it some more.
(Originally Posted September 14, 2006)