down upon us and it flows like water
burning with the hope of insight
feathered books the colors of the bright elation
stolen in the sight of love
we are we are we are we’re just children
finding our way around indecision
we are we are we are rather helpless
whisper to a scream
Icicle Works, Birds Fly (Whisper to a Scream)
Since I moved to Colorado I have made three, honest to god “girlfriends” — you know, the people that you can talk to about anything. One of them lives in Denver and I hate her, sometimes, but usually I love her. Its a weird relationship, but once in a while we see each other or talk a bit and its good. The second is Kenny… my feral young friend that moved to California a few months ago. The third is my buddy Dustin.(Yes, two of my three girlfriends are male… the way I am, its actually surprising that one is female!)
Dustin has been working in Denver for most of the summer, so I have seen him rarely. Its made for a kind of lonely summer, with no one around to talk with about the massive changes my life has been going through. Yesterday, however, Dustin popped into town for a surprise visit and I went over to hang out and play some cards. And we finally got to talk a little.
It was a really good conversation… short, really, but the important thing was that I got to tell him some of the things that have been going on in reality and in my head and he was able to respond to these things from a perspective of knowing and therefore I got a lot of really positive feedback. Made me realize, later, on reflection, that I have been focusing my thoughts to much on maybes and what ifs and dreams instead of just reveling in what is. Stupid that I need to be reminded, so often, to just be, but then, I guess that after so many years of cultural conditioning, its kinda amazing that I can live n the moment at all, even if I need to be reminded again and again.
So this morning, I once again felt that incredible lightness of being that comes with not worrying about what the future holds. Need I say it again? Sure, why not… life is good.