Posted by: terrapraeta | January 5, 2010

Resolved or Resolute?

Lookin’ back to find my way, never seemed so hard
Yesterday’s been laid to rest, changing of the guard
I would never change a thing, even if I could
All the songs we used to sing, everything was good

A little bit of resolve is what I need now
Pin me down, show me how
A little bit of resolve is what I need now
Pin me down, show me how

One more year that you’re not here has gone and passed you by
What happened to you, what happened to you?
One more tear that you won’t hear has gone and passed you by
What happened to you, what happened to you?

Foo Fighters, Resolve

I don’t do resolutions. Once upon a time I played that game and I cannot think of a single instance where I stuck with it for more than a week. Absurd. But, of course, New Year’s Resolutions have always been about making sudden, drastic changes to your life purely on force of will. I’ve never found that to be a terribly effective way to evoke change.

On the contrary, most change is gradual, ofttimes undirected, or at least ill defined. It usually ends up working out much differently than one originally intends when they first become consciously aware of it. And, really, most of our efforts involve resisting that change. Or maybe I am being too general, you tell me.

On the other hand, every January I do have a tendency to focus my energies and attention. Well – since I gave up resolutions, anyway. Usually the Holidays are a time of mayhem, following the madness of Summer Vacations and Back to School and holiday build up. Usually the winter months are the only part of the year that I am not trying to do three things at once. This has changed in the last few years for me, because I am no longer engaged in these activities the way I was when I was a suburban mom. But this last year echoed it somewhat in my traveling so that this January I am finding myself very much ready to focus on my own health and well being for a while.

So. What this means is that for the next few months I will probably be spending far more time at home, getting back in to a regular workout routine (I have adjusted my work schedule to accommodate this – I’ll be working more evenings, leaving my daytime-active time free), paying more attention to the food I am eating, meditating regularly and so on.

One big instigation for all this was a discovery I made a few weeks ago that somehow I have knocked my hip out of alignment and this has caused some real distress to my right leg. I’ll be working on correcting that. Another instigator was spending the last ten days burning the candle at both ends and exhausting myself and wearing out my body to the point that all kinds of weird reactions are starting to occur. (I actually strained my diaphram when I stretched the other day. Most bizarre sensation I have ever experienced) Can’t have it. I refuse to start feeling my age. I’m just getting started living!

So… what this means for eros, I do not know. Hopefully nothing. I want to be spending less time on the computer, but really, the time I spend writing and discussing is useful, so that should not be impinged on in the slightest. But the amount of time I spend playing silly games and perusing facebook really can go away 🙂

I do have some storied to relate from the past few weeks, and some new (or actually old) finds to direct y’all too. And if we can get some decent weather, I hopefully will be getting out hiking which means more pics with tales. Cheers 2010!


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